For many people, the act of cheating is cut and dry – it is engaging in sexual contact of any kind with a person who is not your partner. But for others, being unfaithful can mean participating in any number of activities which your partner feels should be reserved exclusively for them.

In an interview with HuffPost, clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley Jr. explained that infidelity does terrible damage to your partner . Through surveys conducted by his company Marriage Builders, Harley said he has found that affairs are listed as being more painful than losing a young child, losing an arm, having your house burned down, and being physically abused.

Because the definition of cheating varies from person to person, clear boundaries need to be set at the beginning of a relationship, and both partners must agree to adhere to those relationship rules. Without setting boundaries and expectations, you or your partner might unfaithful without realizing it . Here are some ways you might be cheating even if it doesn’t feel like it.

You’re having an emotional affair.

One of the most common ways people cheat is by having an emotional affair. To put it simply, an emotional affair is an affair of the heart . According to a HuffPost interview with author and marriage therapist Sheri Meyers, PsyD, if there is sexual chemistry, flirtation, and you fantasize about taking it to the next level , it is emotional infidelity – even if you haven’t actually had sex with someone else.

Emotional affairs can hurt as much, if not more than sexual infidelity. As Wendy Lustbader, MSW, explained in Psychology Today, “someone has stepped into emotional territory previously reserved for them , to which they used to have free and exclusive access. Continue reading →