You know, way back before Twitter, Facebook, and pretty much every other thing that could have documented the foibles of my youth. Praise Jesus.
So, when I decided to head back into the foray, I was pretty clueless how dating worked in the modern world. Are bars still a thing? Am I going to end up a lonely, old spinster with 50 cats?
The articles I found were as useless as tits on a snake, to use my mother’s vernacular. It was chock full of tips like, “Tell a friend before you meet with someone you met online,” or, “Keep conversation light and don’t overwhelm someone with too many texts.”
No shit, Sherlock. I may be out of practice when it comes to dating, but it doesn’t mean I lost all of my street sense and social skills. I am a divorced woman, not a shut-in.
At my core, I am an introvert. I like spending time on my couch with my dogs and a glass of wine. You can wear yoga pants, meet cute boys, and never leave your home. It’s a chocolate dipped piece of nirvana wrapped in rainbow unicorn poop.
Alas, I found out that online date is not as easy as it seems. First, you have to give yourself a screen name. I haven’t had to do something like that since my AOL Instant Messenger days when I was PoohBear 79. I certainly couldn’t use that now. It was already taken. No, it wasn’t. I checked.
I think that’s what appealed to me about online dating
I agonized over pode verificar aqui this, trying to find something that summed up who I was as a person, but didn’t make me sound like a mega dork. Pretty sure I failed, because after I created my profile, I realized most people just used their initials or first name with some numbers after it. Where was the creativity, dammit.
The name really comes in second to the photos. I searched all of mine and had a hard time finding:
- Any of me
- Me without my kids
- Me without my ex
- Me wearing makeup, and something other than a tired expression because I have two kids and don’t sleep anymore
I Googled things like, “Online dating etiquette,” “pros and cons of dating websites,” and “how to text while dating
I ended up with random selfies (making me look like a narcissistic twat), a few with sunglasses on (so you have no clue if I’m a hideous troll beast or not), and one my mom took of me on vacation (but, you look so pretty in front of that lion!). Continue reading
